warning: cheesy post ahead

In exactly a week from tomorrow, I will be done with my freshman year of college. Talk about bittersweet. It's hard to start a post to sum up a year that has been so incredible, challenging, encouraging, and most importantly, has taught me that the Lord is faithful above all things.

I still remember showing up at A&M last August to move into my dorm room. I still remember the excitement and butterflies I felt as I started the transition from the place where I had spent my whole life, to a totally brand new one. I had so many expectations and goals for my first year; most of which didn't play out the way I wanted them to. But, the Lord is faithful and His plan is far greater and more beautiful than I could ever hope.

One of the biggest prayers I had going into college was for solid friendships. I fervently prayed that the Lord would place people in my life who loved the Lord and would encourage me in my walk with Him. He far exceeded my expectations. I have been blessed with INCREDIBLE friends this year. They not only encourage me in my walk with the Lord, but they challenge me, laugh with me, hold me accountable, and love me despite all of my faults. Whether it was asking how my day went, sending encouraging texts when I was stressed about school, going on endless Sonic Happy Hour runs, road trips late at night, hanging around talking about random things, late night deep convos about how awesome the Lord is, hammocking sessions, or dance parties on the side of the road, they have taught me what it truly means to serve and love others. It overwhelms me how faithful the Lord is. I am so very thankful for my friends; time with them just makes my heart happy (sorry for being so cheesy haha). 

This summer is going to be different than any other one I have experienced before. My very best friends will be spread out all over the place. I won't see most of them for 3 months. It is going to be weird not being able to just head over to their rooms when I am bored, upset, or just looking for someone to talk to. But, it makes it so much sweeter knowing that I have the next 3 years with them ( and hopefully the rest of my life). That I will be living with a lot of them in the house next year. And that the others will be close by. 

I literally cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for my friendships these next few years. Looking back over the course of the year just makes me so excited to see my old friendships solidify and grow, and to see the new ones that might form. 

He. Is. Faithful. 

All the time.

P.S- Trailblazing for camp is in 18 DAYS!! More to come on that in another post.

Over and out. 

stir in me a desire

This past semester I have been studying the life of David. A man who earnestly and fervently sought the Lord; a man after God's own heart. The way he saw the beauty, power, and majesty of the Lord is very humbling. David had a passion for God that spilled out into everything that he did and said. He was a broken human being who had many, many faults (just like the rest of us), but yet the Lord chose to use him. He stirred a desire in David to pursue Him intimately. A desire that transformed the way David lived. No matter what he did, David always turned back to the Lord and submitted himself to Him.

Recently, I have been praying for a desire to know the Lord more intimately. For a passion to seek Him out every day and to grow in my relationship with Him. I want to view God the way David did. I want to be completely overwhelmed and humbled by His presence. I prayerfully want the Lord to consume me and stir in me a desire to pursue Him wholeheartedly.

How different my life would be if I lived in total, complete awareness of the Lord. If He filled all of my thoughts and I lived a life of excitement and joy because of that? The Lord IS IN everything; He IS everything. I need to be reminded of that constantly. When we can come to terms with just how incredible, how beautiful the Lord is, we won't be able to stand not being in His presence.

I have also started to realize that even when walking step by step with the Lord, I am going to mess up. I'm human after all. I am a perfectionist so for a long time I would never ask for the Lord's forgiveness because that meant I failed at something. Thankfully, the Lord has taught me that I am by no means perfect and I never will be.... Broken and sinful, yet made in the image of God; that is who I am. And getting to ask for the Lord's forgiveness is a humbling thing. It reminds me that I am a sinner, saved by the Lord's unending grace. 

Lord, give me a desire to seek your face each and every day. Stir in me a passion for Your precious, holy name; an excitement that fills me with joy because I am in your presence. Transform my heart.

"Let us know, let us press on to know the Lord; his going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth."- Hosea 6:3

"Oh God, your are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in dry and weary land where there is no water.....So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands." Psalm 63:1, 4

P.S- Can we just talk about how yesterday was Sonic Happy Hour ALL DAY LONG. Definitely went more than once. Not ashamed at all. 

before the throne

Have you ever just sat still and listened to the lyrics of a song? Let them sink in and penetrate your heart? Today in church we sang the song, "Before the Throne"; one of my all time favorite worship songs. What a powerful song that holds so much depth and meaning. One stanza (I think that's what it's called) of the song says, 

When Satan tempts me to despair, 
And tells me of the guilt within, 
Upward I look, and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin.

What a wonderful picture of how we should live our lives. When we are tempted, overwhelmed with the burden of sin, where else would/should we look than to Christ. We can't live without Him. Life is just too hard, and we can so easily become tangled up in the mess that sin can create.I have found that when I turn to the Lord for help during a difficult period, my burdens are lighter compared to when I try to do life on my own. When I try to be in control. 

It truly is humbling to realize how much God loves us, and how He NEVER leaves us. Even when we chose not to turn to Him when we are in desperate need of His strength and peace. The Lord is always there; I prayerfully need to remember to let go of the world and grab onto His waiting hands. To cling to Him, and look up to Him when I am struggling. 

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."- Isaiah 41:10

 "God is our refuge, our strength, a very present help in trouble."- Psalm 46:1

pride

Pride. Something that will create a wall between you and the Lord that is so thick and tall, it's nearly impossible to tear down without His help. And for a long time, I didn't want Him to. I was comfortable living a life that was deeply rooted in pride and selfishness. I still am.

But, the Lord clearly calls us to live a life that is uncomfortable. Because following Him is not normal in the world we live in today. Until we truly grasp the concept of the cross, lay our burdens down, and submit to His will, the Lord has to fight against our comfortability, against the pride and selfishness that takes root in our hearts and hardens it towards His perfect plan.

Last semester, I slowly let the Lord break down the wall of pride and selfishness I had built around myself. I was in constant prayer that He would humble and break me so that He would be glorified in my weakness.

He did.
Literally.

4 and half months ago I broke my leg and had to have surgery to place a rod in it so it would heal properly. Never have I been so broken (excuse the overuse of this word). And never have I been so frustrated with the Lord and his will. I couldn't rely on myself anymore. I couldn't be prideful and not ask for help. I couldn't be in control (and I love to be in control). I couldn't be comfortable.

Over the past couple of months, I have learned what total dependence on the Lord looks like. I have learned that everyday I have to wake up and submit myself to His will (which I definitely don't always do). I have learned that only He has the power to rid me of my pride, my selfishness, and my desire to be comfortable. I have learned the beauty that is in weakness. And I need to be reminded of all of these things daily. Hourly even.


"You have said, 'Seek my face.' My heart says to you, 'Your face, Lord, do I seek.'" Psalm 27:8

in case you were wondering....

I am a follower of Jesus Christ. The fact that He died a horrific death on the cross for a sinful, broken person like myself is mind blowing to me. Overwhelming actually. Only the Lord has the power to save us. To wash us clean. His love never fails. My prayer and desire is to seek His face each and every day. To find Him in everything. To live the life He has called me to, and to follow His will above my own.

I have been blessed with an incredible family. I have two sisters, Caroline and Maggie. I consider them some of my best friends, and love getting to do life with them. They are constantly teaching me just by living out their own lives. I could really go on and on about how thankful I am that the Lord put them in my life. My Mom and Dad are the greatest parents I could ask for. They are encouraging, loving, insightful, diligent, purposeful, and kind-hearted. I was blessed to grow up in a Christian household, and have learned so much from my parents. I'm still learning.

The Parentals!

Seesters!

My friends are seriously the greatest. But really. Throughout my life, the Lord has placed friends in my path that have encouraged, challenged, and helped me grow as a person. Quality time is one of my love languages (if you don't know what that means, check out The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman), and He has given me lots of opportunities to invest in friendships. Whether it's coffee/lunch dates, trips to Sonic (if you ever wonder where I am between 2 and 4, I am probably at Sonic), late night chats, bible study, random road trips, or long phone convos (shout out to my bestie, Allison Whitmeyer), I love getting to be with my friends. The Lord has taught me immensely through my friendships about loving and serving others.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

tune my heart

Well, I never thought I would actually start blogging. One of my secret obsessions is reading blogs. For some reason I love learning about other people's lives. Maybe it's the fact that I never seem to be content with what is going on in my own life (something that I am prayerfully trying to change). Or maybe it's because I love people. I love stories. My heart is full when I get to spend time with others. I believe the Lord has given me a heart to love others, a heart to listen as cheesy as that sounds. My hope and prayer for this blog is that it becomes a tool that I can use to organize my thoughts. To give thanks to the Lord. To explore and learn more about Him. To make sense of the crazy life that I am currently living at Texas A&M. Who knows where it will take me, and what it will become. But that's the beauty of life. The Lord is in control and I am not.

Plain and simple.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11