be still

It's hard to start a post after being away for a while. Hard because I feel like so much has happened since I last wrote. Lessons learned. Memories made. Old friendships. New friendships. Camp (which carries so much in just one little word). The start of a new school year. Challenge. Encouragement. Growth.

But the one thing that has remained constant, unshakeable, and steadfast these past few months, is my sweet Savior. Who bore my burdens along side of me. Who taught me so much this summer; I still haven't even processed it all. Who is still working on my stubborn, broken heart. Who blessed me with incredible new and precious friendships. And strengthened old ones. Who broke, transformed, and renewed me at a place that I call my second home. Who patiently lead me along as I transitioned into a new school year, fighting tooth and nail the whole time. Who has showered me with love and grace as I have tried to run, tried to control, and tried to fix. Who has wrapped His arms around me, and whispered His promises and truth over me continually. 

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine."- Isaiah 43:1

We are His. He should be our everything. The author and perfecter of the universe has called us by name. In Him we have life, we have forgiveness, we have freedom. Those are my Father's promises. That is His truth.

From the moment I returned from camp, I fought against the Lord and His will for sending me back. Camp is not real life. And I know that. I thought I was prepared and ready to go back to school after spending five weeks being filled up and poured out. But as soon as I did, I stopped listening to the Lord. Stopped relying on Him. Satan's lies and worldly desires took over. All I wanted to do was run. I struggled to figure out my purpose in being back. School seemed pointless. Life at A&M was different. And I tried to find meaning behind everything. I prayed daily that the Lord would reveal to me His purpose. That He would send me somewhere, any where from what seemed like trivial life to me now.

And then, the Lord reached out. All my fears, worries, wishes, and struggles came to a screeching halt. He reminded me that I need to "Be still and know that [he is] God" (Psalm 46:10). To rest in His presence. And to be thankful for what He has given me at this moment. 

I am blessed to be able to go to A&M. Blessed with amazing friends that the Lord has placed in my life. I have realized that I need to seek the Lord and not His purpose. To find Him in the big and in the small. To praise Him for who He is, and what He has done and has yet to do in my life. To stop fighting. And to let Him have all the glory, honor, and praise.

"For you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."- Psalm 63:7-8


P.S- Sorry if this is just me rambling. I was trying to get so many thoughts out at once and it probably doesn't make much sense. But, hey, that's the reason behind this blog in the first place. :)